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21 True Cape Breton Facts


1. "Kenny's or Napoli's?" is both a highly contentious topic, and a very successful pickup line.

2. Iona has no idea what year it is.

3. While driving, the blinker is entirely optional, and other drivers will appreciate your air of mystery.

4. Also, everyone has the right-of-way, all of the time.

5. Except in the Sobeys parking lot, where men abide by no law, and only the strong survive.


I took this picture at the Sobeys parking lot on a Tuesday.

6. Dinner is lunch.

7. Supper is dinner.

8. Lunch is the snack before bed.

9. Breakfast is still breakfast, which is somehow the weirdest part.

10. Chicken balls are considered traditional Chinese cuisine. *


Seriously Canada? You could  have  named them literally anything else.

11. We make fun of people who play the violin, because we play the fiddle.

12. Everybody plays guitar. We don't teach it in school or anything. It just worked out that way.

13. Our potholes are bigger than your potholes.

14. If you tell people you're from Cape Breton, they will trust you with their first born child, which makes kidnapping very easy.

15. The highest point in Cape Breton is White Hill Lake. Nobody knows, or cares, about this fact.


Somebody really needs to revise Cape Breton's definition of "lake."

16. The rest of Cape Breton resents Sydney. Sydney resents Halifax. Halifax doesn't worry about this too terribly much.

17. Meat darts is more fun to talk about than to actually play.

18. Meat Cove has very dangerous cliffs, and very tasty chowder.

19. If you're looking for Tom, he's down at the legion.

20. If you need something fixed, call Gordie. He's good for it.

21. Cape Bretoners wear tartan so that lions can't tell one Cape Bretoner from another. To this day, there have been 0 lion attacks on Cape Breton Island.



Take that, you stupid lions!

* In America, "Chicken Balls" are called "Sweet & Sour Chicken," and they find our name somewhat crude and highly amusing. If you take offense at this, please say:

"I would like the ( name of any animal other than a chicken ) balls, please."

Congratulations. You are now less hungry and probably laughing.



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Peter Sheehan Follow Me
How about "caper balls " ???
Rory Andrews My Post Follow Me
You're not making this better, Peter.
Dan Yakimchuk Follow Me
Technically, shouldn't they be called rooster balls?
Sheilah MacDonald Follow Me
** amendment to #9 Unless you are having breakfast for supper. Then it is supper.
James MacKinnon Follow Me
Don't forget about Cape Breton's unique acoustic/scientific properties, where word of mouth competes with the speed of light. I'm surprised there aren't more lottery winners around here since you'll often hear about someone's goings on, sometimes before the events have even happened!
Max MacDonald Follow Me
Enjoy your stuff, Rory. Was laughing by #10. You look different with a beard. Guess it would have looked odd on a seven year old which was the last time I saw you in person. Hello to your folks.
Lynn Hussey Follow Me
LOL Awesome!

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