Katherine Sorbey

All in a Day’s Work

5 am

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKING on the Wall:

Get up! You jump up, don’t know where you are. But you stagger out of bed. Oh yes, the Love of your life is up and needs you. Go to his special bed. Help him out of it. Check him to see if he’s wet. Of course, his Depends is soaked and he has defecated.
Thank God he’s still alive. Wishes you a loving good morning, and did you sleep well? The day has begun.
You can’t begrudge him for how his life has turned from a healthy, hard working, loving man to a man who has grown old and needs help.
You clean him, dress him with clean clothes, take him to the kitchen table and prepare his medication and his hearty breakfast.

6 am
He begins his breakfast. Tells you of his good dreams or his nightmares. You already know he’s had nightmares, you hear him with his fears during the night and check to see if he’s alright. Though he doesn’t remember.
He tells you of his memories. The lovely times and not so lovely times. You share his laughter and you sit there with a lump in your throat at the not so lovely times.

7 am
He must watch his news. So I take him to his special chair. Turn on the TV. Bring him juice to drink. I go and clean his bed. Strip it. Take all the water proofing off and his bedding.
Put clean bedding on. I’m not too strong, so it takes me a long time. Actually the only strong thing on me is my big mouth. For I’m only a few years younger than my Love.
There’s just the two of us now. Everyone we love has their own life to live. And we don’t begrudge them that.

8 am
Start the washer, put dirty laundry in. Clean out garbage cans. Put new garbage bags in. Take out the garbage, put it in the bin outside. Take it out to the road on garbage day. Take care of the compostables and put that out. Take it to the road on compost day.
Start sweeping up. Get Lysol oil, prepare a bucket with water and a clean mop. Start mopping!
Now do the dishes. Put them away! Sit down, have some tea.

9 am
Check the wash. Put it in the dryer. Thank God for dryers! When clothes are dry, fold them and put them away where they belong. Check to see if I have toilet paper in the bathroom. Bathroom is clean. See if there’s paper towels.
He wants his breakfast again. He forgot he had one before. So I start a new one, a heavier one. With bacon, eggs, home fried, juice, toast and tea.

10 am
Back to his chair and his TV to watch “Hot Bench”. Program on the workings of the justice system. Tells me of his experience with the justice system when he was younger. How he would be picked off the road when walking. Just to be taken to jail and later transferred to a farm where he had to work for a month, with no pay. He said that’s what they did to Indians in his younger days. Cops and farmers said Indians were good workers.
My Love has Parkinson’s. He’s had it now for over ten years. His mind is still sharp. But he can no longer control the body. He says his body is disobedient. Won’t do what the brain tells it to do and he gets disgusted. But never lashes out to me. Unfortunately, I’m the one who raises her voice sometimes when he doesn’t understand. Then my heart hurts and cries.

11 am
Check to see if he’s clean again. Sometimes he is and sometimes not. If not then the cleaning starts, change clothes, wash him. Every second day give him a shave, wash his hair. Do his hand and toe nails, when necessary. Take him to the barber.

12 pm
Start lunch, ask him if he wants hot lunch or cold lunch. Hot lunch takes more time. I sigh when he says only a sandwich and some sweets like cookies or cake. With ginger ale or juice.

1 pm
He’s tired and I’m exhausted. He has a papernap, whatever that is to him. I put him back to bed.
When he has his papernap, I go out sometimes to the drugstore or grocery store or to the bank to see if we have any money for essentials until pension day. Always very close or nothing left.
I take the first job offered me. As an elder of this community, I am often called to speak to other people or offer courses on native crafts.
I don’t go out each day. When I don’t I find something to do. Always something to do.

2 pm
Prepare for supper. Take meat out of the freezer. Prepare veggies, potatoes to be peeled and soak out the starch. Get my pots and pans ready, make my lushnikn (Indian Bread) or tea biscuits. Make a cake or pudding or jello. Whatever my Love likes. He loves to eat. His appetite has not waned. He’s not a pasta man.

3 pm
Check to see if he needs a change. If he does, the change is made. Change of clothes, possible change of chair coverings. If not, a great big whew!
Go on to peelings of carrots, turnips, squash or whatever. He prefers fresh. Sometimes company comes by to see us. Of course, tea is served with sweets.

4 pm
He’s checked again. This time it’s really, really clean up time. Shower time! This goes on until he’s clean and ready again. Clean up of shower stall, floor, take clothes to washer and wash.
Give him juice and cookie.
Ah yes, he has medication he has to take four times a day. Ear drops to be applied, eye ointment for his eyes. Also time to turn on stove and oven to cook supper.

5 pm
Supper cooking. Set the table or prepare his upright tray if he chooses. Make fresh tea, salad and check if the biscuits are ready to be buttered. Eating and medication time.

6 pm
Clean up of supper dishes, table or tray. His bib into the laundry and floor to be cleaned where he drops some of his meals.

7 pm, 8 pm, 9 pm
Relax time for me. Medication time and getting ready for bed. Get his medication for 9 pm. Small lunch and juice.

10 pm
Bed time. ZZZZZZZ

1 am
Wake up time and change again and clean.

2:30 am
Wake up again and change and clean. Sleep again till 5 am.

So folks the day’s work is done. Thank you for sharing our day.
Don’t forget TLC goes a long way.
What I do for my husband, some day if I’m lucky someone will do the same for me.
We’ve been at this schedule since 1987 when he became handicapped.
Keep Loving each other!

Yours in Peace and Friendship,
Katherine and Joseph Sorbey