
Gary MacDonald describes his second-hand sofa as a kaleidoscope of "mostly bad" flavours.
"Life is like my heavy garbage couch," remarks Gary MacDonald. "You never know what you're going to get, but it's usually unpleasant."
Gary MacDonald, a Glace Bay native and annual heavy garbage scrounger, first spotted his new-to-him Chesterfield on the side of Sterling Road. "It was a bit damp, but it had those wings you can lean up against, which made it a real solid 'porch couch.'"
After bringing his new furniture to his rental apartment, it wasn't long before Gary started noticing strange aromas emanating from the sofa. "You would have your usual smells; cat urine, various molds, but then I would flip over a cushion and BAM! Fruit roll-ups! I'm not even sure how you get the smell of fruit roll-ups to adhere to a couch."
"These things don't come with a consumer report" remarks MacDonald, who constantly finds new scents from from the various couch crevices. "I once got a hint of dried sea-weed, which made me wonder if a seagull had a nest in there, and yeah, there was a nest in there." The ensuing seagull battle left Gary with a scar on his forearm and a fear of Tim Horton's dumpsters.
And Gary reports that the olfactory surprises just keep coming from this mystery couch. "The other day I found out the couch was a pull-out. When I unfolded the mattress, BOOM! Smelled just like the tire aisle of the Canadian Tire. Why would a mattress even smell like that?"
Even though the various couch scents have caused Gary's family to question his life choices, Mr. MacDonald is undeterred in his heavy garbage scrounging ways. "I'm looking for a matching chair for the porch. Hopefully it's a recliner. God knows what kind of smells are going to explode out of there once the footrest pumps out!"
"It's really added a whole new layer to all my furniture related activities. I use all five senses to acquire household items now."
Share your best heavy garbage finds in the comments below.
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