Ok, I know what you are thinking. Who does this guy think he is? Well, I don’t fancy myself as being good at this. In fact, there are a few women out there that would speak to the contrary. But I always considered myself a hopeless romantic and someone that has found it challenging to balance money, time and things to do. This is a bit of a departure from my normal blog posts, but hey, why not? No one else is stepping up to the plate to offer anything.

As someone newer to the island it has been a bit of a struggle meeting people and dating and I’m hoping this can help out a few shy, lonely and frustrated people. I went through a time of rediscovery and appreciating myself, which was a big setback to having a decent relationship. The first step for everyone is to work on yourself first. I know this advice can be had everywhere but I lived it, suffered through it, and feel like a completely different person now. Don’t let a good thing get ruined by your inability to focus on someone else. You will  not be you and not up to the task. Date when the timing is right or you will regret it.

So how do you go about meeting prospective mates in Cape Breton when you don’t know anyone? After all we are all homo sapiens looking to find companionship as part of some biological drive that has us play this game. It’s Plenty of Fish. The dating site everyone loves to hate but can’t seem to stay away from. I was on there for a while trying to meet people date and to be friends. I’m glad I don’t feel compelled to do that anymore. I was in a dark place…don’t judge me. I don’t know what the question is but I’m pretty sure POF is not the answer. In all seriousness it’s not all bad and works for some people. If you take that route try to say something creative. One life lesson I took from that experience is that all women like to take long walks on the beach, bonfires an love their kids if they have them. For Gods sake try to stand out a little!

 If you take this route, or find another more meaningful way to have someone agree to go on a date with you, then you are ready to plan a date. Don’t look to me for pick-up lines. I’ll let some other writers with more experience and self-confidence give you pointers. 

So what is next. Coffee? A fancy restaurant? A movie? Not a chance! Never facilitate the status quo or you will get the status quo.

Date #1. Visit abandoned places.

I know. This isn’t the type of date that you wear high heels to, but it is so thrilling. I have been a huge fan of the culture of Cape Breton, with much of it falling down around me. There are so many places and stories to be told that I started a Facebook group that has close to 1400 members.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/518156224947471/ . Abandoned places tell stories, offer a sense of exploration, adventure and understanding. Many places have been abandoned for several years, being time capsules from some grander time in someone’s life. Something about sharing that moment with people makes for a rewarding and unforgettable memorable experience that is only kept by the two of you. OK, sure this activity is technically illegal, as places can be mostly found on private land, but I haven't had any issues with property owners to date, particularly because I leave everything as is and don’ t force my way into places. I just take pictures and seek knowledge. One of the best experiences was going to the huge WW2 harbour defence complex in Sydney Mines after dark with a bottle of wine. So much extensive history and serenity. Total cost is the bottle of wine and the gas to get there. If you are like me take home brew. Nobody would know any different in the dark!

Cheesy romance novels. Love is in the air!

Date #2. Unforgettable hiking experiences

Ok this is more of the standard in Cape Breton I guess, but the hiking here is so tremendous. If your date isn’t into potentially falling through a rotting floor or really isn’t a fan of history this might be an option.  My personal favourite is the Louisbourg Lighthouse Trail. It is home to so much history, breathtaking views and, in this heat, cool salty air. So many good memories of this trail and the time I’ve spent out there. It’s a real test to seeing if your date is interested in nature in any way, and offers a lot of time for reflection and conversation. If you like them, be brave! Reach out to hold her / his hand while you walk, and maybe bring a picnic lunch. Although on Parks Canada property it costs nothing, so you get the experience without the cost. You can also go to the Kennington Cove beach while you are there, and spend some time in Louisbourg and at the Fortress if you have any money in your budget. Louisbourg is magical. Don’t limit yourself to just there though. Hiking is everywhere in Cape Breton.

Date #3. Learn new hobbies together

If you really like someone you could spend some time learning new hobbies. I’m a fan of picking things up over the internet or going to workshops. Cooking together is a wonderful experience for me. I like to try new dishes and I don’t get along with just anyone in that environment. It’s a compatibility check for me for sure. Another wonderful experience is making a piece of art together. Collaborative painting on canvas can lead to some interesting outcomes. If you really like the person you can hang it in your house for the next date, or your lovechild of a painting can be abandoned if it doesn’t pan out. Soap making, cheese making, gardening, jamming if you can both play music, renovations (not really romantic, but why not?) are all great ways to learn something new and fun without spending a lot. Cape Breton is a place where there are always workshops going on of various interests. Maybe you can take a workshop together at the Cape Breton Centre for Craft and Design?

So in closing I just want to say that dating in Cape Breton can be cheap and wonderful if you meet the right person and plan something that isn’t distracting and hostile. Money shouldn’t be a reason to stay at home feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t settle. Find someone who likes to do the things you like to do and shares the same values and level of ambition. If it's habitual TV watching or crazy adventures there is someone for everyone. Don’t be a serial dater. It's a small island and word gets around. Be selective because you are worth it. And step outside of the long walks on beaches, campfires, driving a pickup truck, watching sports, etc. Nothing wrong with those activities, but you have a lot more to offer than just that and you know it! Good luck! I would love to hear about your dating successes or tragedies.

Chris Bellemore is a blogger from Ontario that moved to Cape Breton Island and is logging his experiences in this strange and wonderful place. He likes walks on the beach and bonfires, unfortunately doesn’t drive a truck and is not looking for anyone right now.

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