Developing Story: Santa Claus Commits to Sydney Port Development

Following the announcement of the Novaporte & Sydney Harbour partnership, we are pleased to announce additional partners in growing the Sydney Marine Terminal and Sydney Harbour Port. The parcel of land adjacent to Novaporte, Santa Claus will develop 12,000 hectares to raise and breed rainbow unicorns, which are projected to have a value of $10.4 gazillion to be fed directly back into the local economy. Claus has also partnered and taken direction from CME in the Northside to add another 2000 jobs to the area alongside of the 100 full time positions CME has fulfilled at an annual $65,000 starting salary. Claus projects his company will start employees at $250,000.00 with 24 weeks vacation. Claus expects to draw other national investors' like the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Loch Ness Monster; who globally have investments across 27 continents worth $100 million plus infinity. The project is expected to cost about $500 trillion and half a pound of razzle berries, but Claus said that despite the large initial investment, he has spoke with Ports Authority who stated that even though they faced $1.4 million in lost lease from the Marine Terminal, they were still financially feasible and excited for the successes to come. Buddy the Elf, Claus' financial advisor said that after meeting with the Ports Authority and reviewing their year end fiscal reports, "I felt that this was a miracle and we look forward to continued financial miracles". The details of the agreement and how funds will be allocated will be frozen under a nondisclosure agreement, much like the details Claus has kept quiet regarding his controversial nice/naughty lists. Claus stated "I am very excited at the prospect of this business proposal. Being able to be part of the Sydney Harbour Port Fairytale is a dream come true. I would like to thank Jiminey Cricket for the magic of wishing upon a star, that started the wheels turning". Work on the project is expected to start this Friday.

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madeline yakimchuk Follow Me
Satire seems to be the only thing people feel they have at their disposal nowadays. I hope you don't get a cease and desist letter like the fella who wrote the "Hondas not Homes" story in Halifax. Thanks for doing this. It is spectacular.
Wayne O'Toole Follow Me
Holy heck and golly, I just got offered a CEO position for Santa, I don't even have experience with the rare rainbow unicorn. My starting salary is $200,000 a year paid half by CBRM and the other half in golden thread from Rumplestilskin! My first order of business is a Christmas getaway for the team in July! Wish me luck
madeline yakimchuk Follow Me
Does anyone think it is possible that Cecil, being the absolute sweetheart on a personal level that I keep hearing he is, actually believes any of the Port stuff? That would mean that some of the partners are laughing at him, and some of them are just submitting proposals and estimates, as is the nature of business. I do shoot from the hip, but I am also kind of a bleeding heart liberal tree hugger who just loves people no matter what. It recently occurred to me that Cecil suffers from we nay sayers because he actually believes his own stories.
Michael MacNeil Follow Me
They do live in Neverland if you read Mary Campbell's research, you will see that due diligence must have raised many red flags before they were granted exclusive rights https://capebreton.lokol.me/harbor-port-development-partners-who-are-they
madeline yakimchuk Follow Me
Yes but, I was thinking about how Cecil just might be a sweet innocent young thing who is doing his very best but is just not too bright, and he just wants so bad to help, either that or he is fully aware, out for himself, and probably gonna win again. sigh.
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Brenda Durdle Follow Me
You are very kind
Wayne O'Toole Follow Me
I am one to be positive about too Madeline. Hiwever, in Cecils case my guess is the nice guy is an act. He is a decent speaker, but the actions of a "good guy" are not reflected in his own policy. He has as MLA/Justice Minister showed he can be misogynist, he lives and breaths hard core, right wing, entitled Christian. I think he has always been this way politically and it took people awhile to get past the smooth talk and see he has no interest in serving those he should, only his best interest no matter what the cost to his public. If you look at his career...he has done nothing for the masses, but for a select few in his "club" and made many of then rich on the backs of the public. I cannot see any of these as actions of a decent person, and the level of repetition shows its done knowingly. He has never "truly worked" a day in his life...he is a career politician who wouldn't survive in the pricate world of employment (except those positions of nothing he has been appointed to). Thats my cynical opinion of the day.
Mary Campbell Follow Me
This made me laugh. And I needed a laugh, I'd just sat through Port Day. Thank you, Meghan!
Dan Yakimchuk Follow Me
Meghan, Please contact Dr. StrangeJob ASAP. He is currently recruiting for the Cape Breton Competents - Liberation Army (CBC-LA) and you definitely have what it takes to be a member. Some of these knuckleheads need to kiss the causeway goodbye. https://drstrangejob.wordpress.com/2016/05/04/cbc-la/
Meghan Farrell My Post Follow Me
Thanks so much Dan! It's the incompetents that make the bird sing every morning and give me a reason to get out of bed... ;)
Meghan Farrell My Post Follow Me
I would just like to add that upon the Disney Magic Cruise Ship leaving the Sydney Harbour, they played very LOUDLY "When You Wish Upon a Star". Mickey and the Clubhouse friends were actually here for business. Word on the street is Tootles will also be managing the rail system. And here we thought this was all satire ;)
madeline yakimchuk Follow Me
It appears that Cecil is still recruiting Port partners. https://www.facebook.com/152319548145449/photos/a.373534726023929.91519.152319548145449/1166278076749586/?type=3&theater
madeline yakimchuk Follow Me
typo! in title... I think. If I'm right fix it before 6:30am or you will be famous with a typo.
Allie Macinnis Follow Me
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